


What Could Have Been

by IseliaDragonwill



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Episode Ignis Spoilers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, POV First Person, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 09:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13051524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IseliaDragonwill/pseuds/IseliaDragonwill
Summary: Sometimes, we keep secrets to protect the ones we love.Sometimes, they already know.*possible Episode Ignis spoilers*





	What Could Have Been

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dark_Ruby_Regalia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Ruby_Regalia/gifts).



> For Dark_Ruby_Regalia, some contemplative boys for you. <3 I hope you love them.
> 
> *possible Episode Ignis spoilers*
> 
> Episode Ignis, huh? I feel like everyone is revitalized and back in full creative swing. Keep it up!
> 
> Just some more of me messing around with first person POVs and resolving a question I had since finishing up the DLC's alternate route: how much does Noctis know of what could have happened?
> 
> Comments and kudos are love. <3

“Do you ever wonder…?”

The words hang heavy in the air as I wait for him to finish. It’s a question he’s asked so many times before, in so many different ways–spoken and wordless, between fits of nightmares and restful sleep. When the pause has gone on too long, when I know he’s lost the words he means to say, I prop myself up on one elbow and turn to face him. 

The night casts its spell and I am entranced. He’s gorgeous like this, with the stars in his eyes and the moon in his hair, but it’s his hands folded behind his head and the furrow of his brow that has me reaching to brush the bangs from his face, imparting my assurances that I’m here for him no matter how long it takes. My only place has ever been at his side. 

He’s looking at me, no longer staring into that far off time that never came to pass. I know what he sees, for the images have haunted me for years, far before he ever glimpsed the future that could have befallen him. Sometimes I wonder if he’s made sense of it all and can only hope that his continued questioning means he hasn’t. The danger to his life may have passed, but I shall always protect him from the reality that could have been. I fear what that knowledge might do to him. 

My hand falls from his face to pull him close and I can’t help but smile when he nestles his head into my neck. His skin is still warm and damp with sweat, a lingering memory of where our bodies had joined and moved together as one mere moments ago. And when I feel his heart beating against my chest, proof of how very alive he is, it’s all I can do to stop myself from holding him so tight that he might break. I’ll always keep him safe, for he is my entire world. Nothing else matters.

“What is it Noct?” I press a kiss to the crown of his head and gently knead my fingertips into the base of his neck.

“It’s…” He pauses again. Once more I wait, praying that my embrace soothes that weary expression from his face. After everything he’s been through, I just want him to be at ease.

“I’m just happy you’re here with me.”

There’s something more he wants to say, but I feel his body grow heavy in my arms. Sleep now, my King. I shall be here when you wake, watching over you always. 

\---

He knows something.

I can tell from the way he looks at me sometimes, like if he blinks I might disappear. Every once in a while, he'll jump if I touch him, almost as if he's not expecting me to be there, but I'm scared to know why. It all started after we took back Insomnia, when we began rebuilding and getting things back to normal. That's when my dreams started too, nightmares really. The more time passes, the more I think the two are connected.

He's been through a lot. We all have, but Ignis…he bore the brunt of it all. Don't get me wrong, I'll always be thankful for what he did. Words can't express how indebted I am to him, so I don't try to tell him. I show him every time I hold his hand or kiss him or we make love, but most of all, when I look into his eyes. Sometimes on nights like this, I'll see the moon reflected there, just like now. It fits neatly in the green, obscuring it in grey, and I'm reminded of a future that never came to be. A future that I'm pretty sure he knows about, somehow.

It hurts. He sacrificed for me in that future too, but it ended with us saying goodbye. Sometimes I worry that maybe he doesn't believe I'm actually here with him now; the way we always wanted to be, but never said. Maybe that's why my touch startles him and he's afraid to blink, because he's seen what I've seen and doesn't want to wake from this dream and find me gone. 

But it's me, Ignis. I'm the one that doesn't want you gone. Don't make me relive that time I found you clinging to life so you could spare mine! I want to protect you from ever having to sacrifice for me again, but I know you'd do it again in a heartbeat, given the chance. If you have to, I want to be a man that's worthy of it.

He pulls me closer. His fingertips are at my neck and his lips in my hair. Everything about him feels like home, from the way my head fits perfectly into the crook of his neck, to the line where our bodies meet as one, to the way his arms hold me like I'm something precious he can never lose. 

“What is it Noct?” He's scared. I've known him too long to be fooled by what he's trying to pass off solely as concern for me. 

“It’s…” 

There's so many things I could say, but I can't let him know what I know. He shouldn't have to think about a future where all his sacrifices were in vain. Of all people, he's been through more than I ever could have imagined just to have me here with him, alive. Please, let me protect him from that future. He doesn't need to know. 

“I’m just happy you’re here with me.”

I hope he understands.

**Author's Note:**

> You know, it's kinda fun to do two first person POVs in the same fic. I love headspaces. :D
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://iseliadragonwill.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/FallenIsel)!


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